11.
Nights ago, barely Monday
I slashed my wrists…hey.
I didn’t expect the blade to be so sharp
Or for it to hurt so much
But compared to what I felt just then
It doesn’t really hurt…or maybe I’m round the bend.
When I didn’t see blood
I thought it was a dud
Like all the other times.
Then the blood started to flow
Gently, on it, I started to blow.
Then the pain came
It hurt like when needles rain
All upon my skin
I swept everything into the bin
It hurt so much
I can’t even touch
it, for fear I burst out in pain.
Again.
then on Tuesday, i did it again
this time there wasn't so much pain.
or maybe it was because i was getting numb
or i was just being dumb.
i really don't know anymore
life is becoming even more of a bore
now even the funniest joke
weighs on my shoulders like a yoke
that i can never again remove.
Then the blood started to flow
Gently, on it, I started to blow.
Then the pain came
It hurt like when needles rain
All upon my skin
I swept everything into the bin
It hurt so much
I can’t even touch
it, for fear I burst out in pain.
Again.
Wednesday, i was getting worse.
i felt like i was going to burst
all my emotions
just crying out for attention
but not getting any
not even from my favourite teddy
all of them, i had to hide
from the outside
on which i appeared to have none.
then the blood started to flow
Gently, on it, I started to blow.
Then the pain came
It hurt like when needles rain
All upon my skin
I swept everything into the bin
It hurt so much
I can’t even touch
it, for fear I burst out in pain.
Again.
tonight, Thursday.
i stared at the scissors till i started to fray
i shook my head and grabbed them
and dragged it across my skin like slicing ham
but this time round, i somehow couldn't do it.
it did bleed, but just a tiny bit
tiny drops of blood on my skin
made me wanna plunge the scissors in
deep.
but i couldn't.
copyright Aelisilea
8:52 PM
